Fire Fairy
Hello all you dear, dear friends and fairies. How you all make me smile and comfort me.
Yesterday was a tough day for me, and last night I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach this post. I decided to be honest. Have you ever noticed that the things or lessons you need to accomplish or learn keep on hitting you in the face until you’ve done it?? So for me it is releasing past sadness/anger and trauma. I’ve been playing around with the idea, promising myself I’ll make a flower essence blend, doing my bit of crying, promising myself I’ll make an appointment with my intuitive counselor. But really, not releasing. Yesterday, at my doctor’s appointment, with a doctor I care about and trust, I finally brought up a very traumatic experience I had with a psychologist during my ppd, I had a year ago. He was cruel and manipulative and threatening – and I never went back to him. I clearly haven’t been able to release it. Yesterday I felt just as raw, vulnerable and afraid as I did the day I listened to that man. I think there are multiple reasons I still have it. But last night while nursing my daughter back to sleep, I wondered why, and a little voice said maybe you don’t fully want to.
So there is my aha! and now I’ve got some work to do because I’m not giving this nasty therapist any more power.
I know I’m going to be fine because I’ve got fire in me and I won’t let the people who hurt me have any more power. But, I’m still working my way through it.
This is such a beautiful time of year to release the emotional baggage, even more important than the extra clothes, books and toys we’ve all got hanging around. So let the pain go, give it to your angels and let them fly it away, or put it in the palm of your hands and blow it away in the wind. I will be doing the same.
MEM:
a clean apartment — well until my toddler decided to paint with mashed potatoes, my son’s had a Hero Factory battle, and I dumped pieces of paper on the floor. Ahhh, well it is comfortably clean with a feeling of lived in.
Music class – how my little girl can dance. Such a special time for the two of us.
Lego class
Tea
knowing I am surrounded around the world by women who care about me, who are holding me up and loving me, as I do them.
love and light this late day in February
Well Fire Fairy, you are not alone girlfriend. Different details, same feelings. I know when I read Divine Harmony’s astrological forecast that we are all up for doing some deep clearings,( She is also a psychologist). Someday’s I want to scream “Uncle”, I’ve had enough learning in this Earth School, but obviously I’m not finished cuz I’m still on Earth! Love you Fire Fairy. I still have a ways to go of letting go!
-MEM
-Having lunch with my daughter and her partner and catching up on what felt like months of information
-My daughter coming down today to critique and help me do what I need to do to get this house ready to show. I feel so much support from her
-Being outside yesterday when the weather was beautiful!
-Healing working with my new chiropractor, I’m so grateful!
-Have a glorious day everyone! Thank-you Mother/Father God
Love to you, Laurie. So lots of deep clearings, huh. ok, yes and I understand screaming “uncle”.
How wonderful that you have a chiropractor that is helping you heal. They can be magical.
The other day, I thought about the support your daughter is giving you with your house, and the connection the two of you are having. A true blessing.
GREAT BIG HUGS, Fire Fairy. I feel like there is perhaps some forgiveness that needs to happen before the releasing will be complete. I know suggesting forgiveness about someone who treated you very badly can be triggering, but bear with me, Dear Sister. Read about the Forgiveness Sparkle Mission and see if it resonates with you…it is very, very, very freeing. http://myeverydaymagic.com/sparkle-missions/sparkle-mission-3/
Sending so much love to you. I know how hard it can be to post when you’re not feeling it, but we always benefit from the honesty. Finding magic when we’re feeling low is the most powerful gratitude there is.
My Magic
* My baby slept until…..6am this morning!!!!!!!! I actually feel well-rested!!!
* Watching AWESOME UFO footage on YouTube with my hubby and 7 year old!! (I just LOVE this stuff!)
* My 7 year old blowing my mind again with his memories of planning this life and being in my belly!!
* Feeling so strong and stable in my body after 4 days of T-Tapp!
* Taking it easy…for quite awhile now…and being cool with that!
Oh Sparkle, thank you. I had to walk away a couple of times from your post, and your link today. Much of what you wrote, especially the soul agreement piece speaks to me, and now I feel like I have tools that I didn’t have before. (Flower fairy was the first to bring up that idea to me, and it feels so right). thank you again.
6 am! what luxury! : ) I am so glad for you.
I love that your 7 year old still has memories of this. Once when my oldest was 2 or 3 he said “I remember when I was the mama.” I didn’t understand the significance of that. Now I cherish it. He no longer remembers. How beautiful for you and your son.
love to you
Love to you Fire Fairy ((((((()))))))))))
MEM
~ An awesome workout, love the endorphin buzz
~ Feeling so strong and happy in my body and so appreciative of how quickly she responds
~ Knowing dhs job will work out for the best even if its in ways that don’t seem obvious, I TRUST
~ Dh cooking and clearing up the kitchen
~ Ds2 making a gorgeous scene out of modelling clay
~ Ds1 weaving a magazine rack
~ Feeling INNER HAPPINESS, its so awesome
~ Time to write while the boys had fun in martial arts
~ Friends
Beautiful magic, Oceanbreeze
beautiful workout, Oceanbreeze. I love that feeling of strength and just being aware of my muscles and bones.
I love that your son’s are so creative.
lovely day to you.
More MEM:
I had a really lovely afternoon with two friends and all of our children just ran around and played. The “littles” (ages 5-6) ran around and were spies on the big boys. The big boys stood around and did talking games, and once in a while flexed their muscles by jumping off of picnic tables and catapulting off of trees.
I am seeing progress with some work I’m doing on my middle child with regards to food. I think we are almost done, and I am so crazy, hugely proud that I figured this out. We are almost ready for step 2. I want to dance in the streets.
I am smiling.
Hugs to you, Fire Fairy! Sounds like you are moving through what you need to move through, and that’s great! You are loved and supported. I’m glad you had such a lovely day, and that you appreciated the fleeting magic that is a clean apartment!
MEM:
Joining in a pretend adventure with my 7yo while walking the dog today. We’ve been listening to the Hobbit, so that was the world we were in, but we made out own characters, and ds made up a story for who and what the dog was. It was so fun! And the goblins never caught us.
fresh bagles with cream cheese! yum!
my son having a great swimming lesson, and then fun just playing in the water
A wonderful conversation about my son with the woman who has been doing bodywork for him. I love how clearly she sees him, I love how much the work is helping him, and I love that she really takes time to talk with me about what’s happening and how to make it even better!
spending some time just relaxing… and then later doing a bunch of needed work in the kitchen when I felt like it, which felt easy.
When I went upstairs to do bedtime with my boy, I found him already asleep in bed and under the blankets. (!)
dh went to bed early and the dog is asleep on the floor and it is so wonderfully quiet!
soup stock is simmering overnight in the crock pot, new jars of kefir are fermenting, and the sourdough starter is doing it’s bubbly thing. I love it when food is happening in my kitchen and I’m off doing other things!
Oooh, the Hobbit. We’ve been thinking of reading it to our almost 9 year old. We think he is ready for the (gentle) suspense. I loved that story and I love how much it has inspired your son.
woop! woop! for a provider who connects to your son. That’s a blessing.
mmm. soup, kefir, and sourdough. enjoy.