Embracing My Shadow!
Sparkle Mission #4 ~ RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE!
I think maybe, just maybe, I have figured out the secret to a peaceful, joyful existence: Radical Self-Acceptance. What does this mean? It means accepting myself AT ALL TIMES, even and especially when I don’t live up to my perceived “ideals.” It means I let go of judgment of what is “good” and “bad.” It also means that I honor myself in ALL my moods, even my grumpy ones ~ and I stop feeling guilty for being grumpy! (My beloved hubby often reminds me that my anger is not as destructive as is my GUILT for feeling angry.)
One of my long-time favorite expressions is: “We’re not human beings having a spiritual experience, we’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” Well, if I truly believe that then I have to embrace the fact that we came into this existence WANTING to experience the WHOLE range of human emotions, even the ones that are uncomfortable and ugly.
So in light of RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE, I’m giving up guilt, shame, blame and regret. I’m giving up “shoulding” myself and even “shouldn’ting” myself! I’m going to stop critiquing myself, my choices, my feelings, my mothering. And when that little critical voice pops up (as it inevitably will) I will instead tell myself:
“I love myself ~ ALL of me!
I honor my choices.
I accept my feelings, I accept myself.
I realize there is a part of me that needs to feel this way and I embrace it.
This is all part of my journey and I’m doing it perfectly!”
I’ve been doing this for a few days now and the feeling is…..indescribable! Talk about lightening the load! Radical self-acceptance is not only changing my relationship with myself it is changing EVERYTHING around me ~ I can feel the ripple effect palpably! Because when you practice RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE, it also becomes so much easier to accept OTHERS and THEIR CHOICES too!
And perhaps most magical is the unseen changes….because I KNOW that the vibration around the things I used to critique is CHANGING. I can FEEL it! Things that used to be a source of guilt, like letting my children watch “too much” TV or not feeding them enough of the “right” foods are being totally disarmed and dissipated! I truly believe it’s not the TV watching or the food that is the problem, it’s the FEELINGS around them.
The power of this Sparkle Mission will not be known until you try it, and once you do you’ll be as hooked as I am. Last night I was lying in bed feeling so peaceful, content, and happy…and not because I was living a perfect existence but because I was accepting ALL parts of my existence as perfect already!
Just for one day, give it a try. When that little voice comes up telling you you “should” be doing something differently, replace it with that higher voice and say: “I love myself! I accept my feelings and my choices! This is all part of my journey and I’m doing it perfectly!”
Radical Self-Acceptance doesn’t mean we’ll never be angry again. It doesn’t mean we’ll never experience challenges or negativity again. It simply an HONORING….an HONORING of our HUMAN existence that we CHOSE to come here and experience. It’s an HONORING of our path (and the paths of others).
And I just KNOW that when we HONOR our choices, our feelings, and our paths NO MATTER WHAT that life becomes a whole lot more peaceful, joyful, healthy, and beautiful. This has been my experience for the past few days…..care to join me? 
I’m right with you, darling Kate. I love how your mind works!
Two of my current affirmations: “I honor, bless, praise and give thanks for my God-given desires” and “I honor bless, praise and give thanks for my God-given talents, gifts, and lights, and for opportunities to share them.”
In this ever-expanding Universe, there will always be things we want and are striving for, and there will always be new opportunities to give and share of ourselves, gifts, things, time…
Giving and receiving. And to allow ourselves to feel good and at peace about our part and to know that we are always, in every moment, doing the very best we are capable of—-what a blessing.
Song Fairy, You are a shining LIGHT!!!! I love every word of this!
This came at the right time! I read it at work today while I was berating myself for a silly mistake I made that was really of no consequence, but that just hurt my ego. As soon as I read mission #4 I made a decision to just let it go and I didn’t think of it for the rest of the day. I think I will probably keep referring back to what Kate wrote from time to time to keep it a fresh intention.
I really feel like we are the same person sometimes (ok a LOT of times!!!) Kate!! The day we PHYSICALLY meet will be interesting at the very least. lol.
I love me!!!!
And I love you!!!!
This was beautiful to read, Mary Jo!
True ‘dat, Rainbow Faery!
OMG I love Sparkle Mission #4! The timing is perfect! Thank you!
And Tara, I love YOU, Dear Cyber-Sister!
WOW!!! Way to go Sparkle Fairy
The best part, Grama Fairy asked me to print out a hard copy
of Sparkle Mission # 4 for her. I knew when I read it that this would be of great benifit to her. You win!!!
And now I digress, all the way back to 1989. You had finished your first semester at UMO and waiting at home for your return
was a letter from the university stating that it would be to your benifit not to return for a year or two. I think out rage on your part was the reaction. Grama Fairy seems to recall you on the phone to one of your friends saying this was a big wake up call.
I remember asking you why not take off a couple of semesters
off to get things in order and you said I do not want to go to work at the outlet malls again as you did when you were in high school.
So puffed up you were and you made your case to the powers that be that you were up to the task of being a great student
and you did it.
Over the years your sparkle has become brighter and your Fariy sisters have become angels.
We all love you,
Popsidoddles.
I’ve always been good at stating my case, haven’t I?
Thanks for this wonderful post! It’s filling my heart this morning!
Love to you and Grama Fairy and THANK YOU for helping me become who I am today!
Ok, I am now challenging myself to let go of a big regret in my life about a career move I didn’t make when I was in college. My dad kept on suggesting that I become a elementary school teacher which I had no interest in at that time. Several years later when I met M he also suggested that I should have been a teacher because I have a lot of “useless knowledge.” I was at that time regretting my decision and I have been struggling with it and kicking myself for it. I have been brooding about it lately and I am going to try and let it go, although it will be a huge challenge for me to accept the decision of my younger self. To let it go will be a huge weight off my shoulders.
I’m going to print Mission #4 out too!
Today I caught myself saying out loud to my children that I didn’t do something because “Mommy was lazy…” Then I suddenly stopped and changed my mind and said, “Mommy had more important things to do, like enjoying a swim with my beloved sons!” What a change I got inside just from changing my mental outlook from berating myself to allowing myself!
Tara, I love how you “caught” yourself and changed your statement to a positive one. What a wonderful difference it makes!
Needing to REMIND myself of this today!!!!
This is brilliant! I am becoming more self-accepting… and the more i get it, the more peaceful I feel. There’s still room for… well, getting more radical about it!
I’ve been working diligently on this mission. The old “shame-blame-guilt” trip is steadily and surely being loosed and let go and being replaced with the joyful truth: “I am a beloved, treasured, rich child of the Universe and I am rightfully here to experience unlimited good in all areas of my life!” And you also: “You are a beloved, treasured, rich child of the Universe and you are rightfully here to experience unlimited good in all areas of your life!” And so it is!!! <3
Song Fairy, this is lovely to read. Thank you for sharing.
I’m finding that part of the Radical Self-Acceptance process is bringing up old patterns of thinking that need to be healed and released. I’m feeling knee-deep in this right now, but at least I know it’s all an illusion and I’m ultimately releasing it.
Looking forward to getting back in the groove!
Love love love this!! I hope you don’t mind but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I love your sparkle missions and will borrow it on my blog. I referred them to your blog too so we can maybe double the good and joyful on the planet. This message is so timely today after yesterday’s huge self hate storm washed over me. I can feel the difference today as I slowly embrace my eggooo tenderly with compassion instead of kicking it’s little but. Yes, which is more effective? Does guilt and criticism really positively motivate anyone? I don’t think so… So I am jumping on the loving self acceptance train- choochoo here we go!